The King's Man, directed by Matthew Vaughn

With three hours to kill on a dark, snowy evening in Newbury I headed to the cinema.  Not having seen any of the Kingsman franchise before meant that this prequel was not an obvious choice for me.  Having seen it, I'm not likely to make an effort to catch any others in the series.  

The plot is a curious mix of James Bond meets All Quiet on the Western Front meets Downton Abbey.  Ralph Fiennes (who also has an Executive Producer credit) plays a do-gooding ex military hero forced out of pacifism by the need to stop World War I.  The descent into global conflict is masterminded by a Scottish baddie living at the top of an odd shaped mountain surrounded by a herd of Alpine ibex goats.  

Only 2 of the female characters appear to have many lines and one of them is killed in the first few minutes.  The other - Polly played by Gemma Arterton - cracks codes, sharp shoots and bakes delicious cakes.  There's a lot of manly manliness about with bare chested knife fights, suit tailoring and battlefield heroics.  The believability of the fighting on the Western Front contrasts ludicrously with the bonkers balletic fighting of Rhys Ifans' Rasputin - whose tour en l'air and jettes almost win the day.  Indeed it is as if scenes for several completely different movies have somehow been stuck together to make this one film. 

The special effects are impressive, the goats likeable and the historical accuracy decidedly patchy.  Any good that might be done by pointing out that the British introduced concentration camps during the Boer War is likely to be undone by the suggestion that President Woodrow Wilson was being blackmailed over a Mata Hari sex tape.

The only thing that intrigued me was how very much like Rising Damp's Leonard Rossiter Ralph Fiennes looks.  

So OK if you want to get out of the cold in West Berkshire, but don't make an effort to see this film.